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The Summons of Love$
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Mari Ruti

Print publication date: 2011

Print ISBN-13: 9780231158169

Published to Columbia Scholarship Online: November 2015

DOI: 10.7312/columbia/9780231158169.001.0001

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The Midst of Life

The Midst of Life

(p.62) [ 4 ] The Midst of Life
The Summons of Love

Mari Ruti

Columbia University Press

This chapter discusses why most people often hesitate to fully venture into the experience of being in love despite their desire for it. The closer a person comes to a mutual connection with a person, the more likely he is to resist being in love because of the fear that relational disappointments or frustrations may render his personality irredeemably damaged. They give up some of their yearning for the wonder of being in love in exchange for the relative security of tidy and lukewarm relationships with other people. One reason for this hesitation is that culture emits a mixed message about love. On the one hand, the culture teaches that nothing can match the satisfaction of being involved in an intimate relationship. On the other hand, culture warns that the promises of love are deceptive, and are likely to lead everyone to heartbreak.

Keywords:   being in love, relational disappointments, heartbreak, satisfaction, intimate relationship

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